Mel Robbins has a knack for breaking down the qualities that really outline a lady’s intelligence.
It’s by no means nearly what levels you maintain or what number of books you’ve learn—she focuses on sensible habits and interior resilience.
One of many causes I really like her work is as a result of she talks about what occurs when life will get messy, when challenges take a look at your confidence, and when it’s important to make decisions that really feel uncomfortable however in the end push you ahead.
In my very own expertise, intelligence isn’t merely about sounding good; it’s about the way you navigate doubt, boundaries, feelings, and progress over the lengthy haul.
Beneath, I’ve highlighted 5 key behaviors that Mel Robbins regularly factors to when she describes what makes a lady really “good.”
These aren’t one-time fixes or fast hacks. They’re foundational practices, the form of behaviors that form your every day choices and form who you turn out to be.
I’ve discovered (typically the onerous means) that adopting even certainly one of these habits could make an unlimited distinction, and I hope they’ll resonate with you as nicely.
1) She refuses to let doubt cease her
Doubt can creep in like a whisper: “Who do you assume you might be?” or “You’re going to fail.”
I used to let these ideas outline me. Each time I felt unsure, I’d again off from alternatives or put my concepts on ice.
However Mel Robbins has a means of reminding us that everybody feels doubt—it’s what you do subsequent that units you aside. She typically talks about interrupting the detrimental spiral earlier than it good points momentum.
One in all her most well-known traces is one thing like, “For those who solely ever did the belongings you don’t need to do, you’d have all the things you’ve ever needed.” It’s a strong name to motion.
In my very own life, the shift occurred the day I made a decision to not wait till I felt “prepared.” I began treating doubt much less like a cease signal and extra like a velocity bump.
That meant sending out pitches to publications once I was unsure my work can be accepted, or elevating my hand in a gathering even when I didn’t have a superbly polished argument.
The largest takeaway for me is that doubt can’t really maintain you again except you give it that energy.
By studying to behave regardless of it—even in small methods—you begin constructing a monitor report of achievements that reinforce your sense of functionality.
Over time, you understand that doubt is only a feeling, not an indicator of what you’ll be able to or can’t do.
2) She is aware of regulate her feelings
Being good entails extra than simply psychological skill; it additionally contains emotional intelligence.
One of many qualities Mel Robbins emphasizes is the significance of getting a deal with by yourself emotional responses.
For me, this took years to determine. I used to be nice at giving folks recommendation—telling them to breathe deeply, take a step again, or write in a journal when stress kicked in—however I wasn’t nice at truly doing it myself.
Then I hit some extent the place stress and nervousness began affecting my sleep, my creativity, and my relationships.
That’s once I realized how essential it’s to study emotional regulation strategies.
Typically it’s so simple as pausing for a second once I discover my coronary heart racing, or taking a fast stroll across the block to clear my head.
Different instances, it entails deeper work like remedy or mindfulness practices. I discovered a routine that fits me: a fast five-minute meditation within the morning and a check-in with myself mid-afternoon.
If I’m feeling off, I attempt to determine the set off—am I overwhelmed, overworked, or just in want of contemporary air?
By acknowledging these emotions, I’ve an opportunity to course-correct earlier than I lash out at somebody or sabotage my very own day.
With the ability to “select” the way you reply somewhat than reacting on autopilot is without doubt one of the clearest indicators of actual emotional maturity—and it completely aligns with Mel’s view that self-control is a crucial facet of intelligence.
3) She is in charge of her monetary future
Nothing shatters your sense of independence and confidence like feeling trapped in a monetary scenario.
The neatest girls I do know deal with monetary literacy as a cornerstone of their freedom.
Mel Robbins has typically identified how important it’s to have readability about your earnings, financial savings, and investments—as a result of understanding your monetary image means that you can make empowered choices somewhat than determined ones.
Understanding handle your cash places you in an advantageous place. You don’t have to remain in a job or relationship you despise simply because you’ll be able to’t afford to depart.
It’d really feel daunting, however it fosters a way of safety that frees up psychological power for larger goals and private progress.
As a substitute of worrying about paying hire subsequent month, you’ll be able to give attention to new alternatives—and that’s an enormous a part of what being “good” actually means.
4) She units and enforces her boundaries
Boundaries aren’t nearly saying “no” to one thing you don’t need to do.
They’re a means of respecting your individual capability and defending the time and power that matter most to you.
Mel Robbins typically talks about how essential boundaries are for sustaining wholesome relationships—each personally and professionally.
Earlier than I discovered this, I felt obligated to say “sure” to virtually each request.
Want a volunteer? I’m there. Want a last-minute favor? Positive, why not.
It received to the purpose the place I used to be unfold so skinny that my very own priorities ended up final on the record.
Setting boundaries grew to become a game-changer. I discovered to say no additional obligations politely as a substitute of guilt.
I bear in mind as soon as telling a detailed buddy who requested for a favor, “I want I might assist, however I’m maxed out proper now.”
To my shock, she understood fully—and even admired that I knew my limits.
Implementing boundaries doesn’t imply you’ll by no means pitch in or go the additional mile; it merely means you’re cautious about the way you allocate your assets—be it time, power, or emotional bandwidth.
Over time, I’ve found that individuals who really respect me additionally respect my boundaries. It’s a mutual change of understanding, and it opens the door to extra trustworthy, supportive connections in each space of life.
5) She by no means stops studying
Lastly, a curious mindset is usually what separates somebody who stays caught from somebody who retains evolving.
Mel Robbins stresses that you simply don’t should enroll in a elaborate program or get a bunch of superior levels. It’s about being open to new concepts and continuously looking for methods to develop your perspective.
Studying can take many types: studying, signing up for lessons, listening to podcasts, and even simply listening intently when somebody educated shares their experiences.
Adopting a “scholar of life” perspective has made me extra assured in areas I as soon as discovered intimidating.
Remaining teachable—whether or not it’s about funds, wellness, or communication—ensures that you simply’re by no means boxed in by your present talent set.
You’re regularly rising, which is a trademark of true intelligence in Mel Robbins’ e book and in mine, too.
Conclusion
What actually strikes me about Mel Robbins’ perspective is that intelligence isn’t nearly how a lot you already know; it’s about the way you apply it in actual life.
Each certainly one of these 5 behaviors requires constant effort. None of them are “one and finished.” However with every step you are taking, you construct larger resilience and a clearer sense of self.
For those who’re studying this and noticing areas the place you would enhance, I encourage you to start out small—choose one conduct and experiment with it this week.
Over time, you’ll see a ripple impact, and also you would possibly simply shock your self with how far these foundational rules can take you.