My previous faculty roommate used to say, “Persons are like teabags; you solely know their power once they’re in sizzling water.”
And it’s true.
We frequently meet individuals who appear too good at first look. They’re all the time smiling, all the time accommodating, and by no means confrontational. They’re the sort of people that make you’re feeling such as you’ve recognized them for years, even when you’ve solely simply met.
However have you ever seen one thing?
When battle arises, these “too good” people can usually shock us with sure traits that had been beforehand hidden beneath their sugary exterior.
Effectively, let’s discover this collectively. As we dive into the world of human habits and persona traits, we are going to uncover the seven traits that those that appear overly pleasant at first are likely to exhibit when conflicts come up.
Get able to study extra about these fascinating people and the way understanding their traits may help us navigate {our relationships} higher, keep genuine, and proceed rising as people.
Let’s get began!
1) Surprising assertiveness
Isn’t it stunning? The individuals who appeared excessively pleasant at first, usually present an sudden stage of assertiveness when battle arises.
You see, being “too good” doesn’t imply they lack opinions or beliefs. Quite the opposite, they maintain sturdy viewpoints however select to maintain them beneath wraps throughout peaceable occasions.
However when a battle arises, they received’t hesitate to say their beliefs, generally fairly forcefully. This sudden change will be startling when you had been anticipating them to proceed their ultra-nice demeanor even in disagreements.
This trait isn’t essentially destructive. In actual fact, assertiveness is usually a signal of wholesome self-respect and strong communication abilities. Nevertheless, it’s the sudden shift from their typical overly-friendly persona that may catch us off guard.
The subsequent time you end up in a disagreement with somebody who’s usually “too good,” bear in mind this – they’ve opinions too, and so they’re not afraid to voice them when essential.
2) Over-apologizing
Have you ever ever come throughout this?
I as soon as had a co-worker, let’s name him Sam. Sam was the epitome of niceness. All the time cheerful, all the time useful. However when disagreements surfaced, I seen a peculiar trait – Sam would apologize. Rather a lot.
At first, I believed it was simply his approach of defusing pressure. However over time, I noticed it was greater than that.
Even when the battle wasn’t his fault, or when he had a sound level to make, Sam would apologize. It’s as if he believed that saying sorry would magically resolve all points.
This over-apologizing not solely diluted the load of his apologies however usually side-tracked the actual points at hand.
Whereas apologizing when mistaken is an indication of maturity, overdoing it could actually generally hinder constructive conversations and drawback fixing.
So people, concentrate on this tendency to over-apologize in your ‘too good’ pals and remind them that it’s okay to face their floor once they’re in the suitable. We’re all right here to study and develop collectively in spite of everything!
3) Hidden resentment
Let’s get actual for a second.
These people who find themselves all the time all-smiles and sunshine? There’s usually a storm brewing beneath their calm floor.
In an effort to all the time be the ‘good’ one, they suppress their emotions of resentment or anger. However identical to a ticking time bomb, these hidden feelings finally explode, usually within the warmth of battle.
I’ve seen it occur. An expensive pal, all the time the epitome of kindness, shocked me throughout a disagreement. Out got here a torrent of resentments she’d been holding onto for months. It wasn’t fairly.
The issue isn’t the resentment itself—all of us expertise it on occasion. The difficulty lies in not addressing it brazenly and actually when it surfaces.
By repeatedly enjoying the ‘good’ card, they delay confronting these emotions till they change into too massive to deal with gracefully.
Pay attention to this potential trait in your seemingly ‘too good’ acquaintances. Encourage open and sincere communication to stop resentment from turning into an sudden storm.
4) Non-confrontational to a fault
Right here’s one other fascinating statement. Those that are “too good” usually dislike confrontation to such an extent that they’ll go to excessive lengths to keep away from it.
And I imply excessive lengths.
They could agree with you, even once they don’t, simply to keep away from a disagreement. They could endure discomfort, and even let their wants go unmet, within the pursuit of peace.
That is neither wholesome for them nor for the connection.
Why, you ask?
As a result of by avoiding confrontation, they’re additionally avoiding sincere communication and real decision of points. And let’s be actual; no relationship can thrive with out these.
So when you discover your ‘too good’ pals or colleagues persistently avoiding confrontation, it may be a good suggestion to handle this. Encourage them to precise their emotions and desires brazenly. In spite of everything, a little bit of battle now can forestall loads of resentment later.
5) Emotional suppression
This one may shock you.
Analysis reveals that suppressing feelings can result in elevated stress, relationship difficulties, and even well being issues.
Now give it some thought.
These with a ‘too good’ persona usually find yourself suppressing their destructive feelings in an try to keep up their nice demeanor. They bottle up their emotions, hiding their true emotional state behind a relentless smile.
When battle arises, this emotional suppression can backfire. The pent-up feelings may floor suddenly, leading to an outburst that appears out of character for our usually ‘good’ pal.
It’s important to know that it’s okay to precise destructive feelings constructively. It’s a part of being human and having wholesome relationships.
Now, when you discover this trait in your ‘too good’ pals, remind them that it’s okay to indicate their true emotions. Authenticity is valued greater than a compelled smile, in spite of everything.
6) Concern of rejection
Behind the ‘too good’ exterior, there usually lies a deep-seated concern of rejection. These people may imagine that they should be extraordinarily good on a regular basis to be favored or accepted.
It’s a tricky place to be in.
When battle arises, this concern may make them overly compliant or excessively apologetic. They could even take the blame for issues that aren’t their fault, simply to keep away from potential rejection.
Nevertheless, it’s essential to remind them – and ourselves – that we’re all completely imperfect people. We don’t must please everybody on a regular basis. It’s okay to disagree, it’s okay to make errors, and it’s okay to be unapologetically ourselves.
In spite of everything, actual connections are constructed on authenticity and mutual acceptance, not on an incessant must please.
7) Lack of self-care
This one’s essential.
Individuals who appear ‘too good’ usually neglect their very own wants and well-being of their quest to maintain everybody else completely happy. They could continually put others first, even at the price of their very own psychological or bodily well being.
In occasions of battle, this lack of self-care turns into much more obvious. They could tackle greater than they will deal with, or settle for blame that isn’t theirs, simply to maintain the peace.
However right here’s what they should bear in mind: Self-care isn’t egocentric. It’s important.
By taking good care of themselves first, they’re not simply supporting their very own well-being, but in addition strengthening their capability to construct more healthy and extra balanced relationships.
Embracing authenticity
Being overly good doesn’t should be a life sentence. With self-awareness and a little bit willpower, it’s potential to stability kindness with assertiveness.
Begin noticing if you’re suppressing your feelings, or avoiding confrontation at the price of your personal well-being. Replicate on cases when being ‘too good’ led to resentment or pointless stress.
Self-awareness is step one in direction of change.
Now, take into consideration what might occur when you allowed your self to precise your true emotions. Think about the liberty when you set boundaries and prioritized your wants as a lot as these of others.
It’d really feel uncomfortable at first. Change usually is. However bear in mind, authenticity isn’t about pleasing everybody else; it’s about being true to your self.
Take that first step in direction of authenticity. Embrace your true emotions, assert your opinions, set your boundaries, and most significantly, deal with your self.
Who is aware of? The journey in direction of authenticity may simply lead you to a extra fulfilling and balanced life the place kindness comes from abundance slightly than obligation.