I nonetheless bear in mind the day I noticed I used to be getting in my very own manner at work.
I used to be juggling a number of initiatives, feeling pressured and underappreciated, and I couldn’t work out why.
Then it hit me:
I had a sequence of unhelpful habits that have been undermining my progress.
As an alternative of specializing in development, I used to be caught in a loop of small actions that ate away at my potential.
I’d seen different girls do the identical—continuously saying sure to requests that didn’t serve them, apologizing for each tiny misstep, or doubting themselves a lot that they’d by no means communicate up.
It’s superb how these behaviors can sneak into our day by day routines and turn out to be second nature.
The excellent news?
Recognizing them is half the battle, and with some intentional effort, you may break away.
Beneath, I’m sharing eight on a regular basis habits that I imagine maintain girls again professionally—and the way letting go of them can open doorways to better success, respect, and confidence in any profession path.
1. Apologizing when it’s pointless
I used to apologize for the whole lot—delays in emails, interrupting colleagues (even when the interruption was legitimate), or needing clarification on a job.
Sooner or later, a mentor mentioned to me, “You understand you’re apologizing for issues that aren’t your fault, proper?”
That second was eye-opening.
Saying “sorry” too typically can diminish your authority and sign that you just don’t have faith in your personal actions.
After all, real errors name for honest apologies, however sprinkling “sorry” into each different sentence could create the impression that you just’re uncertain or timid.
I’ve realized to swap out “sorry” for phrases like “thanks for understanding” or “thanks for bearing with me” when a delay occurs.
This small shift immediately makes me really feel extra empowered {and professional}.
If this behavior sounds acquainted, begin by listening to every time you’re about to apologize. Pause, ask your self whether or not it’s actually crucial, and if it’s not, select extra constructive phrases.
2. Overcommitting your schedule
After I was transitioning from my athletic profession to my first workplace job, I felt the necessity to show myself.
I mentioned sure to the whole lot—crew lunches, after-hours initiatives, new committees—though my plate was already full.
The extra I took on, the extra overwhelmed I turned.
Mockingly, I ended up delivering subpar work as a result of I used to be too stretched.
In my expertise, overcommitting could be a stumbling block to actual progress.
It leaves no room for creativity or high quality management. In case you’re nodding alongside to this, keep in mind that saying “no” isn’t impolite; it’s accountable.
By setting boundaries, you defend the power it’s essential excel in your core duties.
In response to productiveness knowledgeable James Clear, the environment and habits decide the place our consideration goes.
In case your day is full of duties that don’t align together with your priorities, you’ll have little bandwidth left for high-impact initiatives.
Follow figuring out your high objectives and solely agreeing to extra duties if they honestly help these targets.
3. Speaking your self out of negotiations
Negotiation can really feel uncomfortable, particularly in the event you’re somebody who thrives on concord.
Early in my profession, I assumed that if I labored onerous sufficient, the popularity would come naturally—and that included compensation or promotions.
However that’s hardly ever the way it goes. Lots of the girls I’ve coached or labored with have missed wage boosts or thrilling alternatives just because they didn’t need to “rock the boat.”
Negotiation isn’t about demanding greater than you deserve; it’s about guaranteeing your contributions are valued.
In case you don’t ask, the reply is mechanically no.
Begin small. If the thought of asking for a increase or versatile hours feels daunting, start by negotiating on a regular basis issues—a mission deadline or who takes on a selected job.
Every time you efficiently negotiate, you construct your confidence. Over time, tackling greater points like wage or position adjustments turns into extra approachable.
4. Utilizing language that diminishes your experience
Phrases like “I’m simply pondering out loud right here” or “I could possibly be unsuitable, however…” may appear innocent.
I used to preface my concepts this manner on a regular basis, particularly in conferences the place I felt out of my depth.
What I didn’t understand was how these qualifiers made me sound uncertain, even after I believed in my concept.
In case you continuously soften your language—including “simply,” “possibly,” or “form of”—these phrases can subtly diminish the facility of what you’re saying.
You may discover your colleagues overlook your recommendations or query your experience extra typically than you’d like.
As an alternative, strive stating your opinions confidently: “Right here’s my concept” or “I like to recommend we strategy it this manner.”
Small adjustments in phrasing can have a big effect on how others understand your competence.
I’m not advocating for conceitedness; there’s magnificence in humility.
Nonetheless, there’s a distinction between humility and undermining your personal value by disempowering language.
5. Shrinking your self in conferences
I can nonetheless image the primary company assembly I attended. I sat within the nook, scribbling notes, barely trying up.
I used to be so fearful about sounding foolish that I didn’t ask a single query or share any ideas.
Afterward, another person voiced an concept I’d been holding again—and obtained a great deal of reward.
When girls make themselves smaller—bodily or verbally—they danger going unnoticed.
In case you by no means communicate up, it’s straightforward for colleagues and superiors to imagine you don’t have anything worthwhile to supply.
Over time, this behavior can translate to missed alternatives, from promotions to management roles.
Take small steps to shift this dynamic.
Place your self on the desk relatively than alongside the wall.
Contribute one query or remark per assembly.
Over time, you’ll discover others look to you for insights.
As Dr. Andrew Huberman typically discusses on his podcast, incremental adjustments in habits can rewire the best way we understand ourselves, in the end affecting how others see us too.
6. Counting on people-pleasing to realize approval
I used to suppose that being agreeable was the important thing to success.
If I may simply please everybody—bosses, colleagues, and purchasers—then the whole lot can be easy crusing.
As an alternative, I found that being a continuing people-pleaser drained my power and generally even eroded others’ respect for me.
There’s an enormous distinction between collaboration and continuously bending to different folks’s preferences.
Individuals-pleasing makes it tough to face your floor on essential points, and it may possibly additionally result in resentment.
In case you constantly ignore your boundaries, it’s straightforward to really feel taken benefit of or burnt out.
Breaking free from this sample begins with checking in in your true motivations.
When somebody asks you for a favor, ask your self whether or not saying sure aligns together with your values and bandwidth.
If not, apply politely declining.
Cultivating respect and success in your profession typically hinges on authenticity—staying true to who you’re and what you need, relatively than molding your self to suit another person’s expectations.
7. Disregarding compliments and reward
“How did you handle that presentation?” somebody would ask.
My typical reply? “Oh, it was nothing,” or “I acquired fortunate!” Saying that felt humble, but it surely additionally discounted all my preparation and onerous work.
If you dismiss compliments, you ship a message—to each your self and others—that you just’re not totally proudly owning your achievements.
Accepting reward is just not bragging.
It’s acknowledging effort and talent.
This mindset shift could be difficult in the event you’re used to being overly modest, but it surely’s important for constructing confidence.
Strive a easy “Thanks, I labored actually onerous on it” subsequent time you obtain constructive suggestions.
Over time, this helps rewire your internal dialogue, reinforcing that your accomplishments are legitimate.
Keep in mind, real confidence can encourage others and open doorways. You don’t should shout your successes from the rooftops, however do give your self credit score the place it’s due.
8. Speaking your self down with destructive self-talk
In case you inform your self, “I’m horrible at public talking,” or “I’ll by no means land that promotion,” your mind will deal with these statements like truths.
Detrimental self-talk turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’m not resistant to it—particularly on days after I really feel overwhelmed.
However I’ve realized to catch these ideas and query them.
Brené Brown emphasizes the facility of vulnerability in constructing confidence and resilience.
A part of that entails recognizing while you’re mentally tearing your self down. As an alternative of letting that script run on autopilot, pause and reframe it.
As an example, in the event you suppose, “I’m horrible at shows,” shift it to, “I’m nonetheless studying to refine my presentation expertise, and I’m getting higher each time.”
That small change can increase your shallowness and impression the way you carry your self at work.
This isn’t about compelled positivity; it’s about recognizing the affect our inside dialogue has on our outward actions. If you imagine in your means to develop and adapt, you’re way more prone to take dangers that result in profession development.