We regularly hear the phrase, “I’m simply an introvert.” It’s a snug, straightforward label to slap on once we don’t really feel like socializing or opening as much as these round us.
However maintain on a second.
What if what you’re experiencing isn’t actually introversion? What if it’s a protecting shell you’ve constructed round your self to maintain emotional hurt at bay?
That’s proper.
Generally we confuse being introverted with being emotionally guarded. You would possibly suppose you like solitude when, in actuality, it’s a defensive mechanism to keep away from vulnerability.
On this article, we’re going to delve into seven indicators that counsel you’re not truly an introvert – you’re emotionally guarded. It’s all about understanding ourselves higher and rising from there.
So, should you’ve discovered your self often retreating into your shell and questioning if that’s a standard a part of your character or one thing else fully, learn on.
Let’s shatter some misconceptions and assist you align along with your true self.
1) You are feeling drained by social interactions, however not for the explanations you suppose
It’s a standard trait of introverts – feeling drained after social interactions. That is usually attributed to the best way introverts course of info and stimuli, which is internally.
However there’s a twist.
In case you discover that social interactions depart you feeling drained since you’re continually on guard or nervous about saying the mistaken factor, this may very well be an indication that you just’re emotionally guarded, not introverted.
It’s concerning the why. Are you drained since you’ve been processing numerous info and stimuli? Or are you exhausted since you’ve been attempting to maintain your partitions up, avoiding vulnerability in any respect prices?
See the distinction? It’s delicate however important. Understanding this distinction is usually a essential step in the direction of breaking down these partitions and fostering real connections.
2) You could have a behavior of pushing individuals away
Have you ever ever discovered your self pushing individuals away even after they haven’t finished something mistaken? I do know I’ve.
Let me share an instance.
Just a few years again, I met this superb particular person at knowledgeable occasion. They have been sensible, sort, and we shared related pursuits. We obtained alongside very well, they usually tried to deepen our friendship.
However for some motive, I resisted.
I advised myself that I didn’t have time for brand new friendships. That I used to be simply too introverted to keep up extra relationships. However trying again, I notice it wasn’t about being an introvert in any respect.
I used to be afraid. Afraid of being susceptible, afraid of getting damage. So, I pushed them away earlier than they might get too shut.
Sound acquainted?
In case you’re doing this, it’s seemingly you’re not an introvert – you’re emotionally guarded. You’re not avoiding individuals since you’re introverted; you’re avoiding emotional intimacy as a result of it scares you.
3) You discover excuses to keep away from deep conversations
Right here’s a confession: I’ve at all times been the grasp of small discuss. Whether or not it’s concerning the climate, the newest sports activities recreation, or trivial gossip – I’ve obtained it lined.
However when conversations begin to veer into deeper waters, issues get difficult.
Abruptly, I discover myself in search of an escape route – a fast look at my watch, a sudden pressing name, or the basic “I would like to make use of the restroom” excuse. It’s not that I dislike significant conversations. Truly, I crave them. However in addition they terrify me.
Why?
As a result of deep conversations require vulnerability. They require me to let my guard down and share components of myself that I often maintain hidden below layers of self-protection. And that’s scary.
So should you’re like me, continually dodging deeper connections by sticking to surface-level chit-chat, it won’t be your introverted nature at play. It may very well be that you just’re emotionally guarded, defending your self from potential emotional discomfort.
4) You wrestle with expressing your emotions
Emotions. These difficult, sophisticated, messy issues that make us human. I’ve usually discovered myself struggling to specific them.
It’s not that I don’t really feel feelings. Fairly the alternative. I really feel deeply, intensely. However placing these emotions into phrases, expressing them to others, that’s the place the wrestle lies.
You would possibly end up in related footwear.
Maybe you’ve discovered it notably laborious to open up about your emotions to others, not since you’re shy or introverted, however since you concern being judged or misunderstood.
Chances are you’ll fear that by exposing your true feelings, you’re opening your self as much as damage or rejection. However keep in mind, it’s regular to have these fears. It doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human.
The following time you end up holding again from expressing your emotions, take a second to replicate: Is it actually due to introversion, or is it a protect you’ve put as much as shield your self emotionally?
5) You’re at all times in management
Management – it’s a robust idea, isn’t it? Being in command of our lives, our selections, and {our relationships} provides us a way of safety and luxury.
Curiously, analysis has proven that people who’ve a excessive want for management usually exhibit emotionally guarded behaviors.
Give it some thought.
In case you at all times must be in management, it may very well be since you’re attempting to guard your self from uncertainty or emotional misery. It’s simpler to handle your personal reactions and behaviors than it’s to foretell or take care of another person’s.
So, should you discover a powerful want to at all times be in management in your interactions with others, particularly in the case of emotional points or deep conversations, contemplate this: It won’t be your introverted nature holding you again. You would possibly simply be emotionally guarded.
6) You’re fast to construct partitions, not bridges
Constructing partitions round our hearts can typically really feel just like the most secure factor to do. It retains the potential of ache and disappointment at bay. I get it, I’ve been there too.
It’s like residing in a fortress. It feels safe and cozy. But it surely additionally retains the good things out – heat, connection, intimacy.
If you end up usually erecting partitions relatively than constructing bridges, keep in mind this: It’s okay. You’re not alone, and it doesn’t imply you’re flawed or damaged.
It merely suggests that you just is perhaps guarding your feelings greater than mandatory. It’s not about being introverted; it’s about self-protection from potential emotional hurt.
Recognizing this may be step one in the direction of decreasing these partitions, even when it’s just a bit bit at a time. Keep in mind, it’s okay to let individuals in. You don’t at all times need to bear the load alone.
7) You’re comfy with distance
Right here’s the factor: Emotional distance can really feel secure. It’s like a buffer zone, defending you from potential damage and disappointment. But it surely additionally retains you from forming deeper connections with others.
If you end up sustaining this distance, even with shut buddies or household, it won’t be since you’re introverted. It may very well be an indication that you just’re emotionally guarded.
It’s okay to guard your self, however keep in mind, vulnerability just isn’t weak point; it’s the birthplace of connection and intimacy. So don’t be afraid to step out of your consolation zone and let others in. That’s the place the magic occurs.
Embracing the journey in the direction of vulnerability
So, you’ve acknowledged the indicators and also you’re prepared for a change. Keep in mind, understanding that you just’re emotionally guarded, not introverted, is step one in the direction of a extra genuine life.
Embracing vulnerability can appear daunting. It’s like getting into unfamiliar territory with no map. However belief me, it’s well worth the journey.
Begin small. Share an sincere opinion, categorical a sense you’d usually bottle up, or let somebody in on a private dream or concern. It would really feel uncomfortable at first, however with every step, you’ll discover it simpler.
Keep in mind, it’s not about altering who you might be; it’s about breaking down obstacles that stop you from being your most real self.
And right here’s the attractive half: as you begin to decrease your guard, you’ll discover a shift in your relationships. They’ll deepen, turn out to be extra significant. You’ll kind stronger connections and expertise elevated self-confidence.
So take your time. Be affected person with your self. It’s a journey of self-discovery and progress, not a race.
And most significantly, keep in mind this: permitting your self to be susceptible isn’t an indication of weak point; it’s an act of braveness. It’s about embracing your self – feelings, fears, goals, and all – and exhibiting up authentically in your relationships.
Who is aware of? You would possibly simply uncover an entire new aspect of your self ready to be unleashed – one which’s grounded in authenticity and braveness. And that’s one thing really particular.